Use emotions at your own will

When I was a kid, I used to get angry all the time. I had no control over my emotions and I let my emotions rule my actions and thoughts. Everything I did was based on an impulsive emotional reaction. As I grew up, I learned to control my emotions and now I try not to let anger control me.

We are emotional creatures.

Our actions are not only determined by our thinking, but we transition between different moods and emotions.

Most of the time we let our emotions guide or control us. Sometimes, it leads to a good outcome but at times, it can also lead to an undesired outcome. We then regret our actions which were based on short lived negative emotions.

We all know the power our emotions have on us. But what if we switch it the other way around? What if we use emotions to empower us in the way we want?

Most of us develop a constant personality. Some people are perceived to be funny, some are serious and some seem to be always smiling.

Every emotion has its place and time. Preserve your feelings and channel them when you need them. An overdose of any emotion can result in undesired outcomes.

If you stay happy all the time, you’ll hide and suppress all your negative emotions which are unhealthy for your mental and spiritual health.

If you stay funny all the time, you might not take some things in life seriously and not take actions that you need to be taking.

If you stay angry all the time, well, you know the consequences.

Every emotion has its use and all of them are natural. So instead of masking our emotions or keeping our emotion same, we can start to channel our emotions according to our needs and situation.

  • If you’re feeling overwhelmed, bring positivity to life and smile.
  • If you’re taking life too seriously, bring humor to life.
  • If you’re working out at the gym, bring anger to life and switch to the beast mode.
  • If you’re about to do something outside of your comfort zone, bring courage.
  • If you’re feeling uncertain, turn it into positive anticipation and embrace the current situation.
  • If you’re feeling hatred, bring love and kindness.

So I invite you to try this technique out. Don’t let your hidden emotions poison you. Channel them and take them out when the right time comes.

Instead of letting your emotions guide you, guide your emotions as you need them. A simple hack you can use to make it easier for yourself is using music. Have different types of go-to music for different situations that will help you shift your emotions when you need or don’t need one.

Emotions are your friend. Use them wisely and your life will be much better.

8 things you need to know if you’re a college student

If you’re in college or if you’re soon going to enroll in a college, you’re at the right place at the right time. I’m soon going to graduate and I wish someone had told me the things that I’m going to tell you.

1. Detach yourself from your grades

At first, my level of happiness was directly proportional to my grades. From A+ to C, I’ve received all kinds of grades.

I’ve understood that 10, 5 or even 1 year from now, I will never care about any of my grades. They don’t mean anything in the realm of real life.

In fact, the time, effort and energy you will spend in trying to get an A from B can be used for more important things in life.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t care about your career. But bare in mind that grades are not your career. The only things that you want to attach yourself are the skills and knowledge you gain. Follow your curiosity. Do what excites you and keep learning.

2. Focus on personal growth

You’ve been gifted with a mind and a body. It’s your responsibility to take care of it. No one else will do it for you.

College is the ultimate opportunity to develop life skills. For example, emotional intelligence, living a healthy lifestyle, clear thinking, stress management, time management, personal finance, leadership,  friendship and relationship skills are the skills that are far more important than your grades.

Personal growth is the path that will help you live a fulfilled life.

3. Dare to be different

For your own sake, stop looking for approval. College life is the stage when so many people fall into the trap of looking ‘cool’ and being accepted by others. They lose themselves and they have no idea who they want to be.

Once I took the 16 personality type quiz. The results said that my personality type was INFJ-A which is less than 1% of the population. I’m so glad to know that I’m unique.

Don’t be afraid of not doing something that majority of the people are doing.

Don’t be afraid of doing something that majority of the people are not doing.

We are social creatures and we all are looking to be part of a tribe. So, we look for people’s approval. While it’s normal to be part of a community, it doesn’t mean that you need everyone’s acceptance. You only need a few like minded people to be your friends.

Instead of making 1000 friends, make 2-5 close friends who have similar values or character traits as you. You could also have friends from different backgrounds. It will keep your mind open and you’ll be able to see things from different perspectives.

4. Know/find/create yourself

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-awareness is a topic that deserves a separate post. So I’ll keep it short here.

It’s easy to get lost in the world that is filled with people who are already lost. Don’t exist and wait for death. Live until you have the opportunity to create yourself.

Define who you want to be and what you want in life. Your values and desires may change over time so keep moving towards them and change when you need to.

Embrace the change and the everlasting journey of self-awareness.

5. Plant seeds for future

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb

95% of the college students don’t realize the value of their time. If you have a clear vision of what you want or who you want to be, then don’t waste a second. Work towards your future desires. You will thank yourself later in life.

The seeds can be in the form of learning, creating, practicing, etc. Develop 2 or 3 skills or knowledge about a topic. Then combine them and you will be better than 99% of the population on Earth.

6. Know the difference between job, career, and vocation

Jobs are roles that you take and you get paid to do that. Career is a series of jobs that lead to growth in your field.

Vocation, on the other hand, is a passion or a calling. But sadly due to stereotypes, society’s expectations, or our own excuses, most of us don’t pursue them.

It’s possible to have all three in one situation but for most of us, it takes some time and effort to reach there. If jobs can help you to eventually pursue your vocation then have patience and a clear vision of your vocation.

7. Fail, make mistakes and get rejected

Life is not always rainbows and sunshine. We all face adversity and there will be times when you’ll feel down. Practice the art of managing your emotions when you feel that way.

Failures and mistakes are not the opposite of success. They are part of success. As long as you keep learning and reflecting, you’re on the right track.

Rejection is also a phase that we need to practice. We need to realize that rejection is okay. It’s normal to feel bad after getting rejected, but don’t let it break your confidence.

Keep getting up and keep moving forward.

8. Stay present and enjoy

College is once in a lifetime experience. You don’t have as many responsibilities compared to an adult. Don’t stress out too much about your future. Stay in the present as you enjoy planting seeds for future and your personal growth journey.

Be grateful. Live fully. Laugh freely.