Life Design for Introverts

I don’t know about you but I love being an introvert.

If you’re an introvert and you’re interested in making the best out of your life then read on. This post is for you.

Before diving in, let’s make it clear who an introvert is. Introversion is a personality trait in which a person recharges by spending time alone. The level of introversion various among different people. It can also change as we age or change.

Being an introvert is not easy. It is especially hard around many extroverts who don’t understand your nature. They might feel uncomfortable if they think that you’re rejecting them. But in reality, introverts need their alone time to recharge. Introverts can’t stay social for a long time.

Being an introvert myself, here are my top tips on how you can design your life:

1. Schedule ‘me’ time

It is necessary that you schedule alone time with yourself. This is the time when you’ll be able to recharge your batteries and go through the day full of energy.

While extroverts spend their leisure time by socializing, you prefer alone time for leisure. So, don’t feel obliged to do what others are doing. Spend your leisure time your own way.

Alone time can come in different forms such as:

  • Taking a walk
  • Listening to music/podcast/audiobook
  • Working out
  • Meditating
  • Journaling
  • Writing
  • Reading
  • Cooking
  • Eating
  • Learning skills
  • Doing a hobby
  • Taking a shower
  • Cleaning / Organizing / Planning
  • Browsing internet / Watching TV
  • Traveling

You can do many of these activities with other people as well like walking, cooking, eating, watching TV, traveling, etc. But according to your energy levels, you can choose to do the activities alone for recharging.

2. Socialize on purpose

As introverts crave out alone time, it can be easy for them to skip the social part altogether. It’s a good idea to take out some time to socialize so that you form relationships and develop your social skills.

Don’t be afraid to make small talks. Even though you don’t like small talks, you can use it to practice your emotional intelligence and people skills. Just smile, say hello, ask about the other person, be interested, listen and open up.

Social connection is necessary for improved quality of life. Good relationships and being part of a community are an important part of life design. Don’t skip it.

3. Know your energy

If you don’t want to burn yourself out, then you need to know your energy limits. Avoid committing to events that you don’t want to go to. Limit your time at social gatherings.

If you’re out of your energy reserves in a social setting, then it’s best to take a break by going to the washroom or any other quiet place to recharge for a few minutes. If you don’t do it, you will feel drained and people will feel the low energy around you.

4. Have friends who understand you

Let your friends know your nature. They will understand and respect your privacy without hard feelings. If you don’t communicate this, they might think that you’re being a jerk by ignoring them.

If you can, make friends with some introverted people so that you can understand each other. But it is also good to have friends who are extroverted. It will add variety to your social circle and add contrast to your personality.

5. Choose a career that suits you

You like to work in a distraction free, isolated environment. You don’t like to communicate too often while working. So, instead of choosing jobs that require constant interaction with a lot of people, choose jobs that charge you up.

If you let your coworkers know about your preferences, they will understand your style of working and they won’t make assumptions. Misunderstandings between coworkers can lead to bad results so make sure to be open about your personality and respect each other’s preference.

6. Escape the personality trap

Being an introvert is a personality trait. While it is true that the personality trait is part of who we are, it does not mean that we can’t take characteristics from other personality traits.

You can anytime choose to improve your social skills and be a selective introvert. Yes, it will take some time and practice but if you want, you can learn the skills that extroverts can easily do.

So stop labeling yourself and become a slave to your personality. Choose what you want to work on and start working on it. Your personality will adapt.

7. Embrace your nature

Congratulations! You’re an introvert. You can enjoy being alone, you can reflect on your thoughts well, you don’t need too much dopamine to feel good.

Be thankful for your personality and embrace who you are. Enjoy what you truly like doing without the fear of missing out.

Be awesome. Be you.

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My number one priority in life as a 22-year-old.

On 23rd of June 2017, I turned 22 years old.

In the past 4 years, I’ve learned more things about life than rest of the 18 years of my life.

About 4 years ago, I stepped outside my house and started living in a hostel after enrolling in a college. I was away from my parents for the first time in my life.

I was free. I had full control of how I wanted to spend my time and who I wanted to surround myself with.

At first, I wanted to be cool college kid because I was shy at school. I had only a few close friends. I wanted to change my identity and become a famous guy whom everyone loved. Now that I look back, I was insecure. I wanted to be accepted by as many people as possible.

After 1 year of a hardcore trail and error, I was back to myself.

I eventually ended up with few close friends again. But I was happy. I formed great friendships with few people who inspired me in one way or another. For example, I learned to be carefree, have self-discipline, find humor and many other traits that I learned from different friends.

Most of all, I became friends with myself. I gave myself permission to be me. I started my journey to follow the path of personal growth and become a better version of myself.

I started following people on the internet who played the role of virtual mentors for me. I started reading self-help books, I started training my body. I learned the principles of living a life of purpose, growth, and fulfillment.

Soon enough, I was a different person. In essence, I was the same person but I was becoming a better version of myself every day.

As I got closer to my graduation, I started to think about career and wealth. By the end of 2016, I took a pledge to consume less and create more. I started learning about online business and bringing value to other people’s life.

Out of all the things that I learned in the past 4 years about health, wealth, business, relationships, and life; there is one thing that stood out the most. I’ve set my number priority in life based on that.

The number one priority of my life is not my goals. It’s not my career, not my business, it’s not even my freedom.

The number one priority of my life is the person who I am becoming.

At any given moment, I could lose anything. I could fail at reaching my goals, I could lose my arm, I could be robbed, I could go broke, I could be locked up in a prison, I could become sick, I could lose my strength and muscles that I’ve trained hard for.

One thing that no one can take away from me is the person that I have become. My values and my character traits will stay with me.

In the end, my values will determine my story and the quality of my life regardless of the life circumstances. I trust my ability to figure things out and make the best out of any situation.

8 things you need to know if you’re a college student

If you’re in college or if you’re soon going to enroll in a college, you’re at the right place at the right time. I’m soon going to graduate and I wish someone had told me the things that I’m going to tell you.

1. Detach yourself from your grades

At first, my level of happiness was directly proportional to my grades. From A+ to C, I’ve received all kinds of grades.

I’ve understood that 10, 5 or even 1 year from now, I will never care about any of my grades. They don’t mean anything in the realm of real life.

In fact, the time, effort and energy you will spend in trying to get an A from B can be used for more important things in life.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t care about your career. But bare in mind that grades are not your career. The only things that you want to attach yourself are the skills and knowledge you gain. Follow your curiosity. Do what excites you and keep learning.

2. Focus on personal growth

You’ve been gifted with a mind and a body. It’s your responsibility to take care of it. No one else will do it for you.

College is the ultimate opportunity to develop life skills. For example, emotional intelligence, living a healthy lifestyle, clear thinking, stress management, time management, personal finance, leadership,  friendship and relationship skills are the skills that are far more important than your grades.

Personal growth is the path that will help you live a fulfilled life.

3. Dare to be different

For your own sake, stop looking for approval. College life is the stage when so many people fall into the trap of looking ‘cool’ and being accepted by others. They lose themselves and they have no idea who they want to be.

Once I took the 16 personality type quiz. The results said that my personality type was INFJ-A which is less than 1% of the population. I’m so glad to know that I’m unique.

Don’t be afraid of not doing something that majority of the people are doing.

Don’t be afraid of doing something that majority of the people are not doing.

We are social creatures and we all are looking to be part of a tribe. So, we look for people’s approval. While it’s normal to be part of a community, it doesn’t mean that you need everyone’s acceptance. You only need a few like minded people to be your friends.

Instead of making 1000 friends, make 2-5 close friends who have similar values or character traits as you. You could also have friends from different backgrounds. It will keep your mind open and you’ll be able to see things from different perspectives.

4. Know/find/create yourself

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-awareness is a topic that deserves a separate post. So I’ll keep it short here.

It’s easy to get lost in the world that is filled with people who are already lost. Don’t exist and wait for death. Live until you have the opportunity to create yourself.

Define who you want to be and what you want in life. Your values and desires may change over time so keep moving towards them and change when you need to.

Embrace the change and the everlasting journey of self-awareness.

5. Plant seeds for future

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb

95% of the college students don’t realize the value of their time. If you have a clear vision of what you want or who you want to be, then don’t waste a second. Work towards your future desires. You will thank yourself later in life.

The seeds can be in the form of learning, creating, practicing, etc. Develop 2 or 3 skills or knowledge about a topic. Then combine them and you will be better than 99% of the population on Earth.

6. Know the difference between job, career, and vocation

Jobs are roles that you take and you get paid to do that. Career is a series of jobs that lead to growth in your field.

Vocation, on the other hand, is a passion or a calling. But sadly due to stereotypes, society’s expectations, or our own excuses, most of us don’t pursue them.

It’s possible to have all three in one situation but for most of us, it takes some time and effort to reach there. If jobs can help you to eventually pursue your vocation then have patience and a clear vision of your vocation.

7. Fail, make mistakes and get rejected

Life is not always rainbows and sunshine. We all face adversity and there will be times when you’ll feel down. Practice the art of managing your emotions when you feel that way.

Failures and mistakes are not the opposite of success. They are part of success. As long as you keep learning and reflecting, you’re on the right track.

Rejection is also a phase that we need to practice. We need to realize that rejection is okay. It’s normal to feel bad after getting rejected, but don’t let it break your confidence.

Keep getting up and keep moving forward.

8. Stay present and enjoy

College is once in a lifetime experience. You don’t have as many responsibilities compared to an adult. Don’t stress out too much about your future. Stay in the present as you enjoy planting seeds for future and your personal growth journey.

Be grateful. Live fully. Laugh freely.